Don’t be a jerk

by - 09:07

A lot of people like to shorthand game knowledge as “be a jerk because chicks dig chicks”. That can work in limited applications but it is essentially training wheels advice that misses the point. Chicks don’t actually dig “jerks”. For our purposes let us define “jerk” as “mean for no reason”. Chicks don’t actually like unprovoked abuse. Telling a guy who can’t get laid to be a jerk actually sets him up for failure because his resentment for the women who reject him will cloud his judgment and make him sound bitter. Remember that telegraphing previous success with women will make you more attractive. In the same way telegraphing previous failure will make you seem unattractive. Seeming bitter about women is a bad plan all around. A chick doesn’t want a guy who can’t get laid. We are attracted to the qualities in the opposite sex that we subconsciously want to pass on to our children. Women want a ladies man because they subconsciously want their sons to be ladies men which will increase the spread of her own genes…that is the theory anyway.

Now let us get back to being a “jerk”. A guy who is lashing out at the world around him seems bitter and bitterness is vagina repellant. So if girls don’t actually like “jerks” why is it that they seem to be attracted to jerkish behavior? It is not the jerkishness itself that they are attracted to but what jerkishness indicates.

If you want to absolutely simplify the sexual market you can say that men are attracted to beauty (beauty is objective…don’t let feminists tell you otherwise, beauty is things like facial symmetry, lack of blemishes in the skin, ideal hip to waist ratio, and other indicators of youth, health, and fertility) while women are attracted to power. In game we like to say that women are primarily attracted to “status” but at the end of the day that simplifies as power. Regardless of other concerns women want to breed with the top male in whatever group they are in regardless of how “top male” is determined. In simpler times males just fought it out and one of them won. These days it doesn’t work that way, power is not immediately obvious. Women no longer choose mates by simple up or down male contests. Their attraction mechanism is finely honed to determine signs of power. This is especially useful because if women are only attracted to the signs of power then you don’t actually have to be powerful to attract women. You only have to display behavioral indicators of power.

Thus jerkishness is superficially attractive because it is a power signifier. Powerful people have less to fear in terms of retaliation so they are more free in treating other people like crap. The problem as I mentioned earlier is that jerkishness while it can be a sign of power it can also be a sign of powerlessness. The danger of being misinterpreted is too great. Jerks fuck with others because they have little regard for their capacity to retaliate. Any guy in the locker room will tell you that the guy who gets fucked with the most is the guy who won’t fight back. There is a surer way to display power though: don’t just display little regard for other people’s capacity to retaliate, display little regard for other people in general.

This can be hard to master but since it comes natural to me I’ll try to explain it as completely as I can. The key to displaying little regard for others is to be selfish. I am nearly totally selfish with an unlimited will to power over others. I have never been genuinely sorry for anything in my life. The only thing I have ever been “sorry” for is sorry I got caught. Don’t think of people as there for you to mess with…don’t really think about them at all. Act as if they are below your notice. In a relationship forgetting your anniversary and never apologizing is one of a hundred ways you can subtlety demonstrate to your significant other that you are above them because your cares supersede their cares. The same principle can be applied to pickups. Think of yourself like the sun and her like the planets…she orbits you. She basks in your warm light because you let her but you subtlety indicate that she is disposable and expendable. This isn’t really being a jerk, you aren’t trying to be an asshole you are just making it clear where she stands and that if she wants to be with you then she needs to learn a bitch’s place. There is absolutely no need to be mean about it. Just if she gets an attitude cut her loose and move on…it isn’t like there is a bitch shortage or anything.

This is how guys who have a self image as “nice guys” can still get laid all the time. A guy who is just kind of obliviously selfish can stumble into a whole boatload of pussy without being actively malicious. “Nice guy” is really a codeword for supplicator. “Nice guys” act from a position of powerlessness. They try to trade attention and caring for sex and more or less beg women to sleep with them. This is the worst possible approach. Supplicating yourself before a women is the surest way to destroy her attraction for you. Over time these nice guys strike out time and time again because women can’t help but have contempt for men who bow and scrape before them. Eventually they turn into bitter jerks who lash out at women for no reason. The whole jerk vs. nice guy phenomenon is not so much a dichotomy but a life cycle. It is the progress of the low power male mating strategy. Sadly there have been enough pity fucks in the history of our species that these types have had a deal of reproductive success.

Don’t fall into this trap…don’t put the pussy on a pedestal and supplicate yourself before it. Remember that there is no bitch shortage. There IS a man shortage though. It is she who should be begging you for the time of day. Once you have that mindset the sky is the limit.

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